


The Pizza Incident of '14

by nicole135



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Peter is trying to be healthy, Tacos are life, Wade has other ideas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2015-12-10
Packaged: 2018-05-06 01:47:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5398232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicole135/pseuds/nicole135
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter is trying to make pizza his way, and of course Wade has his own ideas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Pizza Incident of '14

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Spideypool oneshot. I hope you enjoy it.  
> I don't own anything. Thank you Marvel for these amazing characters.

Peter is minding his own business making pizza in his apartment. He can hear Wade singing something off key in the living room. He looks out of the corner of his eye to see Wade's butt in Peter's own sweatpants (They are seriously tight on his ass, especially with him bending over. Shit. Boner on the horizon!) as he looks for a movie for them to watch. 

It's date night. Wade brought soda and chooses the movie while Peter makes dinner. 

Tonight on the menu is homemade pizza. He knows Wade only likes meat on his pizza but Peter's in the mood for veggie tonight. He's going to make a half and half first and then a pizza apiece for them each. 

He's already rolled out the first piece of dough and covered it with pizza sauce, cheese, and Wade's half with meat. He's got mushrooms, green peppers, and an onion out for his side. 

He's just finished cutting up the onions and is about to place them on the pizza, when he hears a scream. It sounds suspiciously like the screaming goat all over the Internet. 

He whips his head around toward the living room. 

"What! What!?!" he yells. 

"Peter. Benjamin. Parker!" 

Oh no. Full name. 

"What the hell are you putting on that pizza!?!" Wade is standing right next to him, gripping the wrist of the hand with the onion pieces in it. 

Peter looks at him shocked. "Uh, an onion?" 

"No! No! No no no no! NO! We have discussed this! Meat only! Don't you dare defile that pizza with those! Those things!" He points in the general direction of the vegetables on the counter Peter has yet to chop. 

"Wade! This is for me!" 

"Nope! No no!" Wade shakes his head so fast it blurs. "If you infect that pizza, I'm throwing it!' 

Peter scoffs, "You wouldn't!" 

Wade glares. "Try me baby boy." 

Peter glares right back and drops the onion on the pizza. 

With a war cry, Wade grabs the edge of the cookie sheet the pizza is on and flips it. It ends up hitting Peter full in the face. 

There is dead silence in the room when the cookie sheet finishes it's metallic clanging, leaving their ears ringing. The pizza dough falls to the floor with a "splat!" and Peter's whole front is covered in pizza carnage. 

Wade bites his lips together to stop from laughing. It doesn't work. 

Peter looks like he's going to kill him. 

Wade starts laughing hysterically. 

Peter grabs the spoon from the pizza sauce jar and flings it at Wade's open mouth. 

Wade chokes, looking at Peter in shock. Then this very serious face comes over him. 

"Oh, Petey. That was a mistake." He grabs a handful of ground beef before throwing it at Peter's laughing face. 

The food fight was epic. Pizza supplies were everywhere in the kitchen by the end. 

Peter laughs, leaning his forehead against Wade's. "You did this on purpose didn't you?" Peter asks. 

Wade grins, "Don't know what you're talking about," he hums. 

Peter's eyes narrow. 

"Soooo, baby, let's get tacos!" 

Peter kisses some pizza sauce off Wade's lips. "Knew it." 

Wade wiggles his hairless eyebrows, "Take a shower with me?" 

Peter kisses him again, "Probably not if we want to get dinner." 

Wade pouts, "But Petey!" He whines grabbing Peter's waist. 

"I don't think that Mexican place delivers, so we have to go pick it up since you ruined our dinner." 

"I ruined it? You were the one who tried to contaminate our pizza!" 

Peter rolls his eyes. "Fine. Let's take a quick shower." He grabs his hand and leads him toward his bathroom. As he gets the shower running, Wade bumps his erection against Peter's ass. 

Peter whips around, glaring. "Wade!" 

"Come on baby boy! You've been hot for me since I was bent over in these pants!" Wade grins, leaning against Peter, licking some sauce off his cheek. 

Peter shoves him half-heartedly. "What about dinner?" 

"Mmm, I just want to eat you." 

Peter raises an eyebrow. "I can't believe you just said that!" He laughs, "How cheesy can you get?" 

"Not as cheesy as you right now," Wade winks at him, indicating the cheese Peter's currently covered in. 

Peter facepalms, but can't hide his grin. "Come on. We'll take a quick shower and then we can do this," he motions to Wade's tent, "after. We have all night." He bites Wade's ear starting to strip him. 

"Baby boy, you keep that up and we won't be leaving anytime soon." Peter grins, "I can live with that." 

*** 

So of course knowing Peter’s life, the next morning after some amazing sex, Peter wakes up to no Wade and a cold bed. 

Peter looks at the kitchen, and he has a feeling it’s gotten worse since he saw it last night. 

But there is a note on the kitchen counter with smears of pizza sauce. It’s turning translucent from the grease it’s sitting in. 

The note is from Wade, since it’s written in his childish scrawl. Peter reads out the note in a dead tone, which matches his dead serious face. 

“Wade no clean.” 

Peter takes a deep breath, eyes closed, and counts to ten. 

He’s going to kill him. 

He’s going to hire Logan to kill him. Wolverine would do that right? 

Wade wouldn’t die, he’d just be gone for a while depending on what Logan does to him. 

Because if Peter tries to tie him up, Wade will think it’s about sex and not punishment. Or he’s go on and on about BDSM and how 50 Shades of Grey is inaccurate and they need a safeword like Yippee ki-yay motherfucker. Just because Wade is a little shit like that. 

But Peter is going to do something. Wade will regret this. 

Peter feels like this is strangely similar to if Wade left Peter pregnant and alone to raise the thing. Either way, Wade is going to get hell for this.


End file.
